Thrillist

Match's 'Singles Greetings Cards' Are New, Most Depressing Part of Being Single

I'm 35, single, and have never had my own holiday card.

That's cool. I mean, getting to be part of my mom and stepfather's holiday postcard featuring collaged photos of them and their Brady Bunched "children" -- my middle-aged stepbrothers (and wives and kids), my 37-year-old sister (and husband and kids), and a random headshot of yours truly -- has been super-fun. But I gotta wonder, isn't there a holiday card for single folks like me?

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How to Make Your Bed So Comfortable She'll Never Want to Leave It

There is nothing worse than climbing into someone's gross bed.

You know what I'm talking about: musty sheets, thin pillows, uncomfortable mattresses, questionable stains… As a lady who's spent some time between a variety of sheets, I've made multiple game-time decisions to sleep out or in based purely on which bed would make me most comfortable.

Don't get slighted because you couldn't turn your bed into a palace. From sheets and smells to lighting and mattresses, here's how to make your sleep space so damn comfortable she'll never want to climb out of it.

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Drug Deals, Car Chases, and Other Dates Gone Horribly Wrong

"I love bad dates. I love the moments when disaster appears imminent and you can almost hear the clackety clack of the roller coaster climbing the hill before gaining speed and sliding off the rails." -BrautigansGhost

Just when you think the dating scene can't get any worse, along comes Reddit to remind you that a) yes it can; and b) whatever you've been through maybe isn't so bad, after all.

There's no shortage of bad date stories -- but the ones compiled here are particularly painful. Your love life is looking better already.

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A Corrections Officer on What Really Happens During Conjugal Visits

There are only four states in the US still allowing conjugal visits in their prisons: California, Connecticut, New York, and Washington. New Mexico is the latest to cancel the practice; the decision to do so spawning from a news report that a convicted killer had fathered four children with multiple women while behind bars. Mississippi, the first state to offer conjugal visits, ditched the practice in 2014.

Public perception couldn't have helped the conjugal case, either: I mean, aren't these visits there just so prisoners can get laid?

Welllllll, not exactly. The dying practice was actually set up for a very different purpose.

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